ITVCFITB CHAPTER 24

 Chapter 24 — That’s Not What I Meant!

On the very first day of marriage, Li Mingjin and Luo Shuyu were to go to Cixin Palace to offer tea to the Empress Dowager, the Emperor, and the Empress. The other princes and princesses also came to see the Third Prince’s new consort. If it had been any other prince getting married, few would have bothered to crowd in, but the Third Prince was different. He always acted boldly, his reputation was poor, and no one in the palace dared bully him. In private, people said it was no surprise he had foreign blood, born fierce, just like his mother-consort, ill-tempered and hard to get along with.

Cixin Palace was truly bustling today; everyone who should be there came.

The Empress Dowager was getting on in years, but still spirited and well kept; it was hard to tell her true age.

She was not Emperor Tiansheng’s birth mother. To bring up the late emperor would be to unroll a muddled scroll, complicated and obscure.

On that note, one must mention the current Empress: she was the Empress Dowager’s niece. This was why Emperor Tiansheng wasn’t close to his empress and instead favored Consort Lin, who had accompanied him from his prince’s manor all the way to the throne.

Naturally, the factions at court were tightly bound to the harem. The palace women had already chosen sides, to say nothing of the officials.

At present the Crown Prince’s faction and the Eldest Prince’s faction were neck-and-neck; no one knew who would laugh last.

Only Luo Shuyu knew how the book ended: while snipe and clam fought, a fisherman profited. Thus, he would wait and see.

The Empress Dowager had already heard that morning that Li Mingjin had summoned an imperial physician for his leg. As soon as Li Mingjin and Luo Shuyu arrived, seats were arranged for them; Luo Shuyu conveniently took a chair too.

The Eldest Prince and the Crown Prince arrived at Cixin Palace at the same time. Their faces were amiable, but every word fenced and feinted, needles point to needle tip, more than usual today, as if something at court had set them off. Neither would yield the floor; even their blessings to the Empress Dowager competed over whose sounded more auspicious and pleasing.

The Empress Dowager seemed blind to the undercurrents and accepted their felicitations with smiling eyes. Cixin Palace, in the end, had closer ties to the Crown Prince.

But today neither Eldest nor Crown Prince was the lead. Soon Emperor Tiansheng and the Empress arrived, and the newlyweds began the tea-serving rites.

They first offered tea to the Empress Dowager. After she drank, she bestowed on the pair a matched set of precious jade pendants.

Mindful that Li Mingjin was injured in the line of duty, Emperor Tiansheng waived kneeling and kowtows, drank their tea, and likewise rewarded them with many auspicious gifts generously, without stint.

Seeing the Empress Dowager and Emperor give the Third Prince face, the Empress was also lavish, gifting a pair of green-jade dragon-and-phoenix pendants.

After paying respects to their elders, they greeted the Crown Prince and Crown Princess, then the Eldest Prince and his princess. Each gave a gift for the first meeting; Luo Shuyu thanked them all without a misstep and stood properly at Li Mingjin’s side.

The Emperor and Empress formed a good impression of Luo Shuyu. The Empress took it on herself to let him sit and, smiling, spoke to the hall about the waves in this marriage.

“Thank the heavens,” she said. “Mingjin came back safe. At the time, His Majesty and I nearly canceled the wedding, but Shuyu said whether life or death he would marry you all the same. It moved me so.”

The Empress Dowager, like many elders, enjoyed stories like the ones in chapbooks. “Why was I not told? And how did Mingjin hurt his leg?” She had been at worship in recent days; she had no part in the Third Prince’s wedding and therefore knew little.

“No need to worry,” the Emperor said. “Mingjin injured it due to chasing the bandits and nearly missed his own wedding. Fortunately the ancestors watched over him. He’s hardly hurt.”

The Empress Dowager couldn’t help scolding him. “Your Majesty! Mingjin was preparing his marriage, how could you let him do something so dangerous? Thank the ancestors the child returned in peace.”

“It was a bit of tempering,” Emperor Tiansheng replied. “Right, Mingjin?”

“Mm,” Li Mingjin said frankly. “Only the leg hurts. It’s a nuisance.” He would not let anyone know his leg had nothing to do with the “disappearance.”

Royal small talk was not like an ordinary family’s. Luckily, after his previous life’s baptism, Luo Shuyu was no longer the timid newcomer who feared being dragged into the conversation, answering precisely what was asked, leaving no gaps.

The Empress Dowager shifted the topic and looked to Luo Shuyu. “Shuyu is a good one. Come keep me company more often.”

Luo Shuyu rose and saluted. “If Your Majesty wishes it, your grandson-in-law will bring you amusing stories.”

“Such a talker,” she laughed. “As expected of the Minister of Rites’ household.”

At the name Luo Renshou, Luo Shuyu felt a prickle of discomfort, but his face remained warm; he even thanked the Empress Dowager for her praise against his true feelings.

Meeting these people a second time, his mindset was different. He noticed many details he had missed before.

As the rumors said, the Emperor and Empress were courteous but distant; the Empress Dowager often shielded the Empress.

The Crown Prince and Crown Princess seemed well matched; their eyes met now and then.

The Eldest Prince, however, had brought both his princess and a side-consort. Strictly speaking, on the Third Prince’s wedding visit, the Eldest Prince’s side-consort had no place, but there she was, dressed more seductively than the main princess and trading looks with the Eldest Prince. One might have mistaken her for the principal wife and the pair for a devoted couple. Evidently, the Eldest Princess Consort did not have an easy life in that manor.

In his last life, Luo Shuyu had often been required to attend these little gatherings. He avoided them whenever possible and had never studied the domestic harmony of Crown Prince and Eldest Prince.

Now, anyone who might touch his family’s fate, he would note and observe closely. No detail could be missed. This was the world of the book; anyone here could alter his family’s destiny.

After they had made the rounds, the Empress Dowager began to tire, and Emperor Tiansheng led everyone out.

Luo Shuyu and Li Mingjin went to visit his mother-consort.

The book claimed Li Mingjin had inherited his violent temper from his foreign-born mother and saw people as less than human.

In his past life, Luo Shuyu had rarely seen her after the wedding. Li Mingjin’s mother was indeed from beyond the borders, but she was nothing like the rumors of raw meat and hot blood and fiery rages. She had entered the harem as a princess in a political marriage, special in status with little affection for Emperor Tiansheng, living secluded for years. Her relationship with Li Mingjin was lukewarm; her health seemed poor. She passed away in the fourth year of their marriage. That was the extent of Luo Shuyu’s impression.

He didn’t know how deeply Li Mingjin felt for her; he only knew that after she died, Li Mingjin shut himself in his study without food or drink for two days, then went out and got blind drunk, and afterward pulled Luo Shuyu into bed.

Everyone goes their own way. The palace they needed lay to the rear.

Consort Mei lived in Changle Palace, a ways from Cixin; they went by sedan chair.

By the time they arrived, her maids were waiting at the door, and the two were admitted to see Consort Mei.

Unlike other palaces, which grew flowers and shrubs, hers grew vegetables.

Luo Shuyu supported Li Mingjin as they entered.

Consort Mei was a cool, aloof woman, tall for a woman, not warm by nature, a face that hardly smiled. Even seeing her newlywed son and son-in-law, she didn’t add so much as a curve to her lips.

“No need for courtesies,” she said. “Mingjin’s leg is inconvenient. Sit.”

Li Mingjin sat at once and drew Luo Shuyu down beside him. “This is Mother-Consort.”

“Mother-Consort,” Luo Shuyu greeted.

She acknowledged him with a simple sound. Her manner was plain. “It’s near noon. Eat here.”

“Mhm,” Li Mingjin replied, shameless as ever. “Shuyu stood forever over there doing rites. He’s tired.”

Luo Shuyu: Thank goodness for that injured leg. They had done very little kowtowing, good and bad hand in hand.

Compared to facing the Emperor and the others, Li Mingjin spoke more here.

“From now on,” Consort Mei said to Luo Shuyu, “take care of each other.”

“I will,” Luo Shuyu answered.

She seemed satisfied and nodded. “I have some tonics. Take them with you when you leave.”

He had just entered the manor and could not say much. Whatever she said, he answered.

Lunch arrived quickly, several dishes had been specially bestowed by the Emperor, who already knew they would dine here.

Afterwards, when Consort Mei retired to rest, Li Mingjin and Luo Shuyu left the palace, burdened with a sack of herbs from her and all the gifts received that day.

In the carriage home, Luo Shuyu asked, “Why does Mother-Consort grow vegetables in her hall?” He’d wondered last life but never asked.

“She likes to eat what she grows,” Li Mingjin said, stretching his leg. Seeing confusion in those curious eyes, he added, “When she was first pregnant with me, someone poisoned her food, she nearly miscarried. Ever since, she’s planted her own, just in case.”

“The harem is truly complicated,” Luo Shuyu sighed.

“Mmm. You needn’t worry about such things,” Li Mingjin said.

“And Mother-Consort?” Luo Shuyu pressed.

“No need to worry,” Li Mingjin replied.

So perhaps in his last life he had simply spoken too little with Li Mingjin and assumed there was no bond with Consort Mei. That didn’t seem true now. They weren’t close, but they were mother and son, there had to be feeling.

He glanced at Li Mingjin’s leg stretched along the carriage seat. “Worry about your ankle first. The physician said to rest it. Your Highness, best not go out these next few days.”

“Then I won’t go,” Li Mingjin said readily. So this was what it felt like to be managed by one’s consort.

Luo Shuyu meant to keep talking with him, but as the carriage rolled onto a main street, cries rose outside.

“Breaking news! Breaking news!”

“‘Courtesan 101’ will kick off in three days!”

“‘Courtesan 101’ will kick off in three days!”

“‘Courtesan 101’ will kick off in three days!”

Luo Shuyu lifted the curtain. Every fifty paces someone handed out Shen Mingyun’s flyers.

Thinking of the Huancai Pavilion, Li Mingjin said, “This ‘Courtesan 101’ seems to be your cousin’s doing as well.”

“He’s full of ideas,” Luo Shuyu said.

“And why don’t you want it to go ahead?” Li Mingjin asked.

“Does Your Highness know how it’s run?” Luo Shuyu countered.

Li Mingjin had never seen the madness of mass voting. Luo Shuyu had, in his previous life. Crowds frenzied and throwing money at their favorites. Truly a terrifying spectacle.

“Voting, it seems?”

“Have you calculated how long it runs from launch to final? How many votes that is?” Luo Shuyu asked. “Do you know those votes are priced in silver? There’s a cap per person per round for each courtesan, but the tickets aren’t cheap. Take a private tutor, a wealthy man by common standards and he earns twelve taels a year. Most families make only a few taels. And do you know the price of a vote?”

“I’ve never counted such things,” Li Mingjin said. “Silver has never concerned me. What’s the price?”

“One hundred wen per vote,” Luo Shuyu said. “Each person can buy up to ten votes per round for the same courtesan. There are one hundred and one contestants. Can Your Highness do the math?”

“Ten votes is one tael,” Li Mingjin said at once. “If one favors ten courtesans, that’s ten taels, the tutor’s annual income.”

“‘Courtesan 101’ will run about ten rounds,” Luo Shuyu said. “It starts with a hundred and one; later the number drops, but there will still be twenty or thirty in the end. Count it up, it’s no small sum.”

“For ordinary households, in the mild case they scrimp and starve,” Li Mingjin concluded. “In the severe, they ruin themselves, sell sons and daughters.”

“Yes,” Luo Shuyu said.

Li Mingjin listened and sobered. This would disrupt the capital’s order. If everyone stopped working to think only of voting and chasing courtesans, chaos would follow. A simple form of entertainment and obscenely profitable, needed reining in.

Sobered and then another thought slid in: would Luo Shuyu keep him on a tight silver leash too? He eyed his ankle, wrapped and swollen like a pig’s trotter, and said, low, “Yu'er, in the future just leave me enough silver for banquets.”

“…” Luo Shuyu stared. That was not what he meant!

---

Author’s Note:
Third Prince: Wife, I’m out of silver. How about we make a billion-dollar deal tonight?
Luo Shuyu: …Get out.

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