DLOBML CHAPTER 26

Chapter 26 — Infuriating the Demonic Master (17) | If You’re So Badass, Why Don’t You Ascend to Heaven?

Xing Ge fled back into her pocket space in a state of near panic.

Eggy hovered there steadily. It usually went around “naked,” but today it seemed to be wearing a black striped shirt?

No, when she looked closer, she saw two bold characters written across it: “Human. Trash!”

Xing Ge: “…”

Great. She decided tomorrow’s breakfast would be boiled eggs.

She had not even settled the score with this thing, and it dared use “egg body art” to mock her. Face like a glacier, she said coolly, “Honorable Eggy, your transmitted script never mentioned that the male lead Li Jiutian and the High Priest are the same person.”

Those two were both sadistic, high-IQ monsters. Fused into one, their intelligence ceiling shot straight through the sky. How was a normal person like her supposed to survive?

“Uh, about that…” Ji Dan had not expected her to bring this up and was briefly speechless. It could hardly admit it had done it on purpose to watch the fireworks.

At the start, in order to properly torment this perverse woman who kept running the plot off the rails, Ji Dan had gone to great trouble to steal this script.

This male lead’s attributes were sadist and control freak, the kind of dangerous man who, if displeased, would bury your whole family. As long as Xing Ge crossed over to become Luo Geng and followed the plot by marrying the heroine, whether or not she actually provoked the male lead, trouble was guaranteed.

One was the Xiaoyao Sect’s number one killer who never blinked at murder. The other was the icy, emotionless High Priest of the outer-realm Sky Demons. Both were prickly as hedgehogs. Offend either and you would not be able to walk away. Ji Dan had wanted to see just how spectacularly this woman would die.

But!

But!

But!

Ji Dan was grief-stricken. No matter what route it set up, she always managed to get tangled with the male lead in the weirdest ways. Forget last time when he stormed a wedding to abduct her. This time was even better, she went ahead and slept with him.

If you’re so badass, why don’t you go ascend to heaven already?

Wait, no. She was literally in heaven right now.

Ji Dan blanked for a second, then continued its righteous scolding. The key point was this mixed-up woman had the nerve to play dumb after sleeping with him, making the male lead so furious his seven apertures smoked. Ji Dan had rubbed its little metaphorical hands in glee, ready to watch him deal with this thousand-year walking disaster.

It was delighted for half a day. And then?

Nothing.

The male lead had laid an airtight revenge plan and was about to succeed, about to grind her bones to ash, yet he got moved by a single unexpected kiss. Principles, bottom lines, the female lead, he tossed them all to the clouds.

Ji Dan almost knelt to the male lead. Why wouldn’t he properly maintain his tragic master-disciple persona, keep that demonic-master mystique, instead of pairing up with this clown? He even gave Ji Dan a front-row seat to “affection grows over time.”

A thousand-year-single egg refused this poisonous dog food.

It was in despair. Why would the heavens not show mercy and collect this hazard named Xing Ge?

Suddenly, Ji Dan felt itself caught in someone’s palm.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m hungry. Going to boil noodles.”

“Why are you holding me then?”

“No idea. I just have this intense craving for egg noodles today.”

“…”

Hero, I was wrong!

Ji Dan had no desire to test the limits of this woman’s patience. It hurried to beg for mercy. “Your mission payout just arrived. Take it and buy noodles. No need to work so hard.”

Xing Ge: $_$

“Aiya, you should have said so earlier! What was I saying just now? I wanted to treat you to a bowl of egg noodles. You’re too polite!” She smiled brighter than the sun, her white teeth practically reflecting light.

Ji Dan: -_-!

Xing Ge, you money-grubbing little b*tch!

It bounced once, and a single immortal stone dropped out.

Xing Ge looked at it with joy.

Then Ji Dan also looked at her innocently.

“I suddenly feel that for egg noodles to be truly delicious, the egg cannot be ordinary. Best if it is a talking divine egg.” Xing Ge smiled serenely. “Do you prefer braised or steamed?”

Ji Dan felt terribly wronged. Clinging to her sleeve, it whined, “Great lord, my dear lord, this is really out of my control! There were supposed to be a hundred thousand stones! But then, then…”

“Speak, and I will forgive your crimes,” Xing Ge said, lifting a brow.

If this little brat did not give a good explanation, well…

It gave her a resentful look. “Do not forget, you ran! The male lead searched the entire cultivation world and could not find you. In a rage he trained a stand-in to wreak havoc in the mortal realm under your name, smearing your reputation just to lure you out. But Luo Geng was a small cannon-fodder in life, and his greatest wish was to reverse his fate and become a regional powerhouse. In the end, you became a notorious villain. Do you think that kind of reputation earns a big payout?”

Xing Ge: “…”

So basically this is all my fault?

Suddenly Ji Dan seemed to remember something and flushed with excitement. “How about this: I open a back door for you to jump back in. You kowtow three times and apologize, then abduct the male lead. As the High Priest of the Sky Demons’ spouse, the entire clan will worship you as a deity. Wouldn’t that make you a famed power in your own right and fulfill Luo Geng’s wish?”

The more it thought about it, the better it sounded. The whole egg radiated dazzling light.

Ah, my lovely little immortal stones, come to Papa!

Xing Ge stared, stunned.

Excuse me there is a back door? And you want me, a proud and dignified lady, to “marry into” the Sky Demon clan?

Eggy, where did your integrity go? What happened to riches cannot tempt and force cannot bend?

The moment she pictured that little wooden cabin full of torture devices, and that man whose corruption meter was maxed out, she firmly said no.

Be serious, she had barely pulled her pants up to run last time. If he saw her again, he would eat her alive.

In the end, Ji Dan took a step back, leaned to her ear, and whispered mysteriously.

“Recently, the great god Fuxi got bored out of his mind and stole Shennong’s job. He planted thousands of acres of greens in the Hundred Herb Garden. They taste like poison and almost killed a few immortals. To save face for Fuxi, the Heavenly Emperor ordered the Treasure Pavilion to run a promotion: buy one, get one free. Buy a head of cabbage and you get a ‘Cannon-Fodder Survival System’ for free.”

Xing Ge looked disgusted. “I don’t eat vegetables.”

“…”

You don’t eat vegetables, that is your focus? I never said you had to eat them!

Ji Dan was about to crack its yolk with worry. It finally yelled, “Idiot, I mean go buy the vegetables!”

The woman narrowed her eyes dangerously. “Hmm? What did you just call me?”

The little egg chickened out instantly. In a tiny voice, it said, “My lord, once you bind the system, it will tell you exactly what to do and when. If you follow it, you won’t deviate from the plot again. Our profit share will go up too.”

Talk about future returns and money, and Ji Dan’s outlook immediately brightened.

So Xing Ge shamelessly took advantage of that and sweet-talked it into paying out of pocket for a head of those toxic greens. She stuffed the cabbage into her sleeve, took the system that had been talked up like a miracle, and whoosh, entered the next mission.

Behind her, the little egg bounced and chased after her. “You thief! That was my immortal stone! At least leave me the cabbage! That is the handiwork of Lord Fuxi. I want it as a keepsake! Thief, get back here!”

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IsitRo: The end of Righteous Disciple x Dangerous Master arc! On to the next one, leggo~