Chapter 46 — The Dorm God Who Spat Blood (20) | The Daily Routine of Flirting with the Male Lead
For a while, the only voices at the table were the two of them.
“Chen Xi, I want shrimp.”
“Wait a second. I will peel them.”
“And that roast duck too.”
“No. Too much of that will inflame your throat.”
“Come on, I will just have a few pieces.”
The boy lifted a pair of clear, bright eyes and looked at Chen Xi pitifully.
“Big bro, I am begging you.”
“I said no. Did you forget whose voice was hoarse for days last time?” Chen Xi kept a stern face. This foodie only cared about eating and ignored his own health. He really would have to keep him in line from now on.
“Hmph. Fine, I will not eat it. Stingy.”
Xing Ge promptly snatched the last square of flower cake from his bowl and pulled a face at him.
Chen Xi: … Childish.
He grumbled, but his hands moved fast. One white boiled shrimp later, before anyone saw the motion, the shell was already stripped clean. The plump flesh bounced twice in the dish of sauce, then he fished it out again.
The whole sequence flowed like water, smooth and effortless, leaving the nearby diners a little stunned.
Chen Xi did not even like shrimp. But he could not resist someone’s love for seafood, so he had trained the supreme secret art of “one-second undress.” Proprietary technique. Not for outside transmission.
The black-haired youth leaned forward slightly, reaching to drop the shrimp into Xing Ge’s porcelain bowl. The other seemed to sense it, lifted his head, and with zero hesitation opened his mouth and bit down.
The tip of his tongue skimmed Chen Xi’s fingertips, warm and silken.
It was like a tiny electric current that tingled to the bone.
Chen Xi shot a reproachful look at the culprit, a flush rising on his cheeks. He bit his lip and murmured, “We are in public. Try to behave.” For all his scolding, there was a hint of bashful coquettishness in it.
“We are upright and aboveboard. What is there to behave about? If they want to look, let them look.” Xing Ge sounded perfectly righteous. It was not as if they were dining and dashing. Why should they sneak around?
That frankness worked on Chen Xi like a calming pill. A light that words could not hold shimmered in his glass-bright eyes.
The bombshell: You little punks. You might as well write me out of the script altogether.
Am I not sexy?
Am I not beautiful?
For F***’s sake, at least spare me a glance!
By the time the meal ended, the woman had been numbed by this shameless couple’s public displays of affection. She spiraled into a pit of self-doubt and self-loathing. Had she really gotten old?
The more she thought, the worse it felt. She clutched her head, broke down, and ran out of the restaurant.
The shameless couple: … What an inexplicable meltdown.
What they did not know was that because this “honey trap” had failed, a certain Old Demon King was currently getting a creative, three-part beatdown from his own sister.
The sultry beauty sprinted back in through the back door, kicked off her heels, and with a ripping sound tore open the side of her qipao. Without another word she jumped into the brawl.
“Look at the dumb idea you came up with! I fell so hard my face went pop pop pop!”
Scratch, bite, kick. Each blow came harder than the last.
“H-help…”
Old Demon King stretched out a trembling finger, hoping the most “compassionate” person present, the little girl, might rescue him. He had given up on his brother-in-law. That wife-slave would never take his side.
Unfortunately, the person he pinned his hopes on was lost in a dreamy daze before the monitor.
“Wow, the two of them look so good together. Hand-feeding is the cutest.”
“Mmm, younger natural top with tsundere gentle bottom?”
“I cannot do this. I am switching camps. Who tops and who bottoms does not matter anymore.”
“But my brother is a Scorpio. I wonder what sign brother-in-law is. I am an Aries. If we get along that would be even better.” The girl cupped her cheeks and imagined the future, smiling like a flower.
Old Demon King, tears in his eyes: I am getting beaten into the floor by your own mother, and you are over there checking star sign compatibility? Do you feel no shame when your uncle always brings you snacks? Touch your conscience. Does it not hurt?
The girl waved him off. I forgot to tell you, a freshman has been courting me super hard lately and buys me tasty things. When I make plans with Mom and Bro, the six of us can go traveling together. You, lonely old bachelor, can stay home and mind the house.
Old Demon King: Stabbing your uncle straight through the lungs like that, are you not afraid of lightning?
The girl: No worries. My freshman will protect me. Worst case we get struck together. That is called dying for love, okay? Fine, stop rolling your eyes. A dried-out old sausage no one wants would not understand anyway.
Old Demon King: …
Motherf***er. Why is it always me who gets force-fed poisonous dog food?
Clearly no one in the Chen family is normal.
Self-styled voice of reason, Old Demon King escaped the talons of the two women and could not wait to launch Phase Two of his flawless plan.
After so many humiliations, he had to win one back.
He would stake the reputation of Chen Xiao on this. He refused to believe he could not break up those shameless, vile, perverted dog men who tormented single dogs everywhere.
“Hello, is this Boss Baili? I have a low-risk, high-return opportunity. Would you be interested in a face-to-face talk?” The man’s deep voice held a curl of malice.
The little girl shivered. Her uncle really seemed ready to go full villain.
The red wooden door creaked open. A towering figure strode in with steady steps, black fitted tank top over a pair of camo pants, an overwhelming presence washing through the room. He removed his sunglasses and swept the place with a razor-edged eagle’s gaze. He exhaled slowly, the muscles on his chest bulging and settling with each breath.
He looked exactly like a mafia boss.
The girl tugged on her uncle’s sleeve, uneasy. “Hey, big pig head, is this not going too far? You will scare them to death.”
This guy was too tall and too built, practically two meters. Her brother was not that tall, and bro-in-law even less so.
Old Demon King folded his arms. Even with his face swollen like a pig’s head, the swagger remained. He lifted a brow. “If we are doing this for real, why not go big? That is the only way it is fun. Right, Baili?”
The big man flashed a mouthful of white teeth, like a predator showing fangs.
Empress Dowager Chen had flopped into a chair to catch her breath after all that beating. Her devoted husband served tea, rubbed her hands, and kneaded her shoulders, living the heavenly life.
“Wow, a hunk.” Her eyes lit up. She tossed aside her fan and in a flash was across the room, hands already exploring the man’s pecs.
The girl: “Mom, have some dignity.”
Old Demon King: “Sis, please, your husband is right there.”
But the lady did not hear a thing. She prodded and pinched, clicking her tongue in admiration.
One big and one small covered their eyes: Mom/Sis, take care of yourself!
The gentle, handsome man behind her stepped up, swept her off by the waist, and slung her over his shoulder.
“Chen Chen, are you rebelling? Put me down!” The Empress Dowager twisted around, her loose hair trailing at his waist.
“Heh. Flirting with a man right in front of me. It seems I have not been satisfying you lately.” His deep, magnetic voice rumbled, eyes as dark as a winter sky. “Do not worry, Your Majesty. For the next few days your humble subject will serve you properly. Satisfaction guaranteed.”
For the next three days, do not expect to stray half a step from the bed.
With a smile at the corner of his mouth, he carried her off.
“Hey, hey, hey… Help. Mmph. You b******! Do not spank me!”
The restaurant manager stood there stupefied. Was the trend nowadays wolves in sheep’s clothing?
Everyone else: nophrase meaning
“if you don’t do stupid things,
you won’t get into trouble.”
The word zuo (作)
comes from Chinese
and refers to unnecessary
or attention-seeking behavior. zuo
Old Demon King turned his gaze on the girl, who was inching backward. His look was dangerous. “Oh? My precious niece, you are not thinking of warning them, are you?”
The mafia boss loomed, arms folded, flexing those two slabs of chest.
“N-no. My dearest uncle, you must not misunderstand. I only wanted to use the restroom. Yes, the restroom.” The girl pivoted mid-step, smiling obsequiously.
As if she would pit her tiny frame against that giant. She would not even stick in his teeth.
Big bro, bro-in-law, may the Lord protect you. Amen.
Author’s Note
Thanks to the little angels for one bottle of nutrient solution~
I heard some babies are going to send me razor blades, scaring me into quickly hugging the good buddy next door!!!
Kids, be good. Razor blades are not fun. Let us go play with mud instead~
Finals are near and Homework-kun demands my nightly favor. Do you really want to see me die of that thing?!! ~~~~(>_<)~~~~
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